Category Archives: Blog

… the psychic satnav …

Lives are speeding up. Add the ecstasy of virtual communication – and ponder – what happens to the quiet zone?

… technology … instead of liberating us from myth, confronts as a force of a second nature just as overwhelming as the forces of a more elementary nature in archaic times … Walter Benjamin

People tend to feel most alive when there is something to do. Ask what happens when you sit down without stimulation, your mind goes blank. And after a little thought you might say … it’s uncomfortable, I get jittery, I feel useless … Or, when you dig a little deeper … I’d feel guilty doing nothing … I’d feel lost … get depressed … I’d pick up the phone, switch on the screen … anything to engage with something other … You get the drift.

Doing and engaging makes us feel we belong, in the sense that we get carried along by the river, be it in the slow majestic flow, in the play of crosscurrents, or down the falls, but always in concord with something around us.

Until we get stuck in an oxbow, or soak up worries and sink to the bottom. What then?

Pressure mounts … to make decisions, finish things, start the next project, write the next blog … anything to be acknowledged … to feel alive and worthwhile.

So what is so threatening about the quiet zone? Well it’s not quiet, is it? Our body/mind is wound up by habit like a dynamo, try slowing down and … thoughts come, feelings come. Deeper layers of the psyche rise into awareness. And if we block or fight their content we end up confused, tired, drained, inadequate, out of touch with who we think we are, or how others know us.

The best-used concept regarding the deeper layers of the psyche is the unconscious. Freud saw the personal unconscious extending into the dark sea of the collective like a huge iceberg, well over ninety % under the surface of our day-to-day awareness. This complex and ever changing grid compels our lives. Jung added the idea of the higher unconscious, but added:

…  Filling the conscious mind with ideal conceptions is a characteristic of Western theosophy, but not the confrontation with the Shadow and the world of darkness. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.    Collected Works 13: Alchemical Studies, p 265

The person who never felt inclined to dwell in the dark, or fears it, not having had guidance in navigating the dynamics of their unconscious, could make a start by studying maps of the psyche. They do exist. And while maps are not the territory, they help with orientation.

The satnav for the psyche has not yet been invented. But it could be understood as an analogy for the eye in the dark, the satellite floating in space from where to delineate the unknown landscape. With practice, we can develop our own satnav – a quiet zone – from where to witness the jungle and listen to the noise without panicking or rushing down the next track. It is possible to observe without reacting, and reflect on our attitudes and actions.

Greater awareness of our personal foibles and dysfunctions, and the collective ignorance around us is not only easier to tolerate when viewed from the quiet zone, it affects our perceptions, our tolerance, and with it our reality. Which is why we must take heart – every individual can contribute to the expansion of our collective consciousness by getting to know themselves better through befriending their personal unconscious. For this to work we need practice in creating a quiet zone, a satellite, a personal satnav from where to witness our inner landscape and find a meaningful geography to take position in.

I am waiting for the day when psychic maps and the practice of creating a personal satnav become part of every school curriculum.

 

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… necessity – mother of invention …

I’m an inventor, ha, ha!

Too lazy to string a cable to my maisonette sleeping space under the skylight, I’ve been searching forever to find a good LED light to read by. I ordered one through the internet, which was PATHETIC.

Yesterday I bought two LED push lights for £ 1. 99 at a local hardware shop.

One of them is now resting in a structure made of a coat hanger, with the wire bend to just the right angle.

A light for half-a-penny under £1 – this must be a record. It also looks pretty elegant.

What do you think?

Other news – someone did a brilliant radio interview of me today and forgot to press the record button. As part of the interview I remember saying something like – things that go wrong send us on a detour, there may be something we need to pick up along the way.

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… they save your face …

 

I’ve heard of a place where they save your face forever, it’s called Facebook …

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… the point is …

think of the skills acquired in a single lifetime …

 

to crawl, walk and feed yourself

to withhold gratification

find the balance to ride a bike

sink a nail, hit a goal, use force subtly

know the measure of things

sample tastes and combine

ingredients towards a delicious meal

respond to sounds, rhythm, colours

that animate and make your spirit soar

acquire the sensual intelligence to dance with objects

avoid danger – physically, emotionally

and intellectually – and not

swallow everything that is fed to you

 

look through the charade

and be your own person

form your unique worldview

make yourself understood

get what you want without begging

dig rules and learn to play

and win a game

 

reciprocate

be patients

act and flow with the wave

realise the power of expectations

the beauty of ideals

and their futility …

 

find wisdom in small things

intuit the flow of energy

recognise the power of the thought

you hold in your heart

 

What happens to the realisations

of a lifetime when you die?

What if you knew

that every understanding and accomplishment

is recorded on earth and in higher spheres

to enhance the past, present and future of lives to come?

 

 

 

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… lovely light …

 

My friend, Ruth, has an allotment which is an inspiration …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A memorable day of lovely light …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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… philo sophies …

I switch it on …

my room appears

the heating kicks in

water sings the kettle

the car engine purrs

radio waves bring news

the screen lights up

movement is freed

and demands my attention

transitional moments

wildly alive moments

as in a child’s eye

the future guides

me switched on

when I trust the light

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I switch it off …

spaces vanish

sound stops

movement halts

the screen goes dark

heartbeat and brainwaves slow

time is not

attention is freed

at peace with unseeing

in wilderness without limits

teaming with probabilities,

a roaming sphere

where deep intelligence guides

me switched off

when I trust the dark

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*    *    *   *

The nature of the soul is like glass, transparent, and when one side of the glass is covered it becomes a mirror.

Hazrat Inayat Khan (from Metaphysics)

The soul can be a mirror to the manifest world while covering the spirit world, and in this way gain outer knowledge. When the soul mirrors the inner world, it receives inner knowledge.

H. I. Khan suggests that mastery comes with balance, in the sense that one can then choose which reflection is required at any given circumstance.

 

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… silly boy …

A dark tale – as follow-up to super-ego monologues …

*    *    *    *

The phrase was boringly familiar, Johnny had heard it all his life, and it shouldn’t have mattered. After all, there was a special compartment in his mind where confusing feely things were safely deposited. He never gave much thought to the contents of this compartment. The term ‘silly,’ was just that, silly, though it was most peculiar that he should encounter it again and again. Why him? Why get himself over and over into situations where his words or deeds warranted derogatory comments, even though they were meant as a joke? Don’t be silly had become an endearment. In fact, playing silly was a role he had perfected. People like to be entertained. Only on rare occasions did he feel sudden heat rising to his head, like when his boss recently pronounced in front of his colleagues, ‘Johnny, the only reason you’re still here is because every office needs a fool … for balance, as it were, ha, ha, ha.’ Heck, he told himself, stuff it away and get on with life.

And so he did.  Johnny finally plucked up the courage to confess his love to Julia, a work colleague, and the girl he was smitten with. She laughed often and tended to take the sting out of snide remarks from his boss. ‘Don’t take it to heart Johnny; he’s having a bad day.’ When he made himself a cuppa, he would always ask if she wanted one too, if only to see her sweet smile. Today he acted – asked her out for a drink. Today was going to change his life. He even drank more than his regular pint of beer to fuel his courage.

The truth hit him like a sledgehammer. All she replied to his confession of undying devotion was, ‘Oh Johnny, don’t be silly.’

That instant the whole accumulated contents of compressed humiliations stirred most violently. His throat choked, his heart somersaulted. Alarms went off in his head. He rushed from the pub. On the sidewalk an elderly couple stepped aside, panic in their eyes, or was it disgust, pity even, the kind reserved for a drunk who had spoiled himself. Sod them. At the T-junction a group of youths loitered in front of a take-away. Why did he attract bullies like a magnet? ‘Hey fella, peed in your pants? Ha, ha. He walked fast, and faster. They sneered after him, ‘where ya heading, twat, home to ya mamma?

Home he went, his mama’s home, now a shrine. He hadn’t changed a thing, she’d know if he did. He wouldn’t want to upset her. She might stop looking after him. But was she, really? Was she looking after him now? Wouldn’t she want him happy and married? A little voice in him said – I don’t want to lose you to a slut.

Julia? A slut?

But of course, don’t you see, Johnny, she likes attention, she likes to flirt, she likes her drinks paid. Bet she’s got someone to pay for her services, you know what I mean, don’t you? Men are her servants, the more the better, she don’t want them too close. She’s not after washing your socks, you silly fool …

The solution came in a flash. A cool plan presented itself like a template. The next time he saw Julia he apologised for rushing from the pub. ‘Forgive me, I don’t know what came over me, I’m such a fool. I hope we are still friends.’ She’d want to make up to him. That fool business would prick her conscience. And it did.

‘It’s me who needs to apologise. You’re a decent chap, Jonny. Tell you what; let’s have another drink, this time on me.’ Johnny was well prepared. They had a most charming evening. He offered to take her home, which she rejected, and he expected …

No need to go into the gruesome story; tabloid-sales hit a new record before the week was out. People love grizzly details. If there was one message Julia took over into her next life, it was, a smile too many can have unforeseen implications.

In prison, Johnny found his moral nemesis; a follow prisoner appreciated his crime. ‘You finished what I couldn’t. You’re my hero. ’

It was Johnny’s right of passage. The first compliment he ever received. Finally he’d done something right. Did his mother approve? Johnny never found out, his action had stunned her to silence, killed her voice … though it killed the little one in need of it too …

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… monologue of the self …

 

acknowledge the creature in you and befriend it

breathe –  so your heart will not contract

in vain duty towards the known

and drain this dream of colour

your cells pulse with desire

that all angels long for

live with intensity

inquire deeply

allow the space

be involved

know you are

step back

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

now become

through acceptance

forget what was learned

polish the mirror of the heart

look afresh with each new breath

all is done by the rhythm of our silence

expand love by not clinging to expectations

find dynamic peace through expressing beauty

intelligence by remaining open to the unexpected

subtle wisdom through enduring the grit of contradiction

intuition through carrying the heart in the heel of the foot

and freedom through humour and deeds of for-giving the self

*    *    *    *

I meant to write a monologue of the spiritual ego but realise I’ve residues of misgivings for some of its manifestations. On the whole, I think all struggling egos between two rocks need a little TLC. Most try hard.

But how does a serious psychopath reflect upon our humanity? I’m deeply distressed today, hearing of the atrocious acts of the megalomaniac in Libya.

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form & spirit – monologues around the ego

 

ID

I am creature

the ever new-born

seeking symmetry

I surge through the trillion

cells to embody my universe

tenuously poised

and charmed in the chasm

between life and death

I require instant gratification

hold me gently

tame me with love

treat me with respect

and earn my trust and loyalty

so spirit can unfold

my radiant self

misuse me at your peril

do not rough me into squares

or angry ghosts will claim

and distort my power

to settle their old scores

I know things you forgot

bring light to make amends

do not cage my knowing

lest the unforgiving seeps

into another generation

help me build a strong foundation

for a house with open doors

where spirit can play and create

its magic theatre

 

HILARIOUS BOTTLED EGO

I try to tame the creature

though my patience snaps

when they beat me I hit back

my house is cold and its walls

are fragile – I move on –

squat in other minds

humour them

pretend compliance

for they fear the wild

a hassle

this fight and flight

they might love us yet

if we make them laugh …

HILARIOUS BOTTLED SUPER EGO

for your own good … listen

and observe the bloody rules

moaning and yelling

get you nowhere

we have a short fuse

and when provoked

will smack your mouth

understand you fool

do as you’re told

shut up – life is tough

 

SAND-WHICHED EGO

It’s not fair, I want to be

the kid next door who has

friends galore, a swing, a bike,

a cat, a dog and much more

she can tear her jeans

without a scene and stay

out in the garden after dark

when she messes up

her father laughs and

her mother bakes a cake

I get sour looks for my exams results

B’s throughout aren’t good enough

and my A in arts means I’ll be a waster

I must hatch a plan

 

SAND-WICHED SUPER EGO

look what we’ve done for you

the best of education

we didn’t have the chance

in our time – life was hard

show some appreciation

stop dreaming, drop your fancy

notion of doing art for a living

don’t count on us to bail you out

let me repeat, you buckle down, or … sigh

 

BLOWN UP EGO

we’re no fakes, relax

I’m the apple of his eye

dad adores everything about me

and lauds everything I do

the world’s your oyster girl,

he says, you’re a winner

far better than the rest

mother doesn’t like me

she’s jealous of my looks

but who cares …

 

BLOWN UP SUPER EGO

life is what you make of it

prove it to the world

be sharp kid

don’t let the critics poison

your success, don’t let them

get at you – losers –all of them

evict them from your head …

 

BIASED EGO

I’m on your side, no fear

hypocrites, the lot of them

let’s act how they see us

worthless

I curve my spine with precision

drop my arms in submission

I fool them all

fool them to perfection

that they can’t control me

is my sweet satisfaction …

 

BIASED SUPER EGO

we keep society intact

decide on law and order

control the wild

discipline the child

chase savages to the hilt

and for the rest – hardly anyone

would guess – reason’s triumph

is our pact with shame and guilt

 

SELF – the creature’s mirror – another time …

 

The image is from a play – The Sunflower Plot – by Cartoon de Salvo

Delightful folk

http://www.cartoondesalvo.com/

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… beyond nature & nurture – the epigenome …

There are days when I can’t decide whose eyes to look through. You might ask, ‘has she got multiple personalities? Yes, in a way, I have a crowd inside. Haven’t you? My philosopher has been plaguing me all month, parenting on her mind, so I’ll let her mull over the stuff she tries to make sense of in the hope that peace returns and my poet can smile again.

Yew at Waverley Abbey

Yew at Waverley Abbey

Research in the field of epigenetics validates that experience is trans-generational.  In other words, the trauma and bliss of parents, grandparents … is marked in ways that switch gene-activity on and off, and can, given the right triggers, reactivate dispositions in future generations.  The genetic motherboard, as it were, is continuously over-written by what happens to us in our lifetime, and, based on my understanding, by how we process, interpret and assign meaning to events.

Re: the epigenome, and the power of environment over gene expression– quoted from an article by John Cloud in Times Magazine, Jan 2010

At its most basic, epigenetics is the study of changes in gene activity that do not involve alterations to the genetic code but still get passed down to at least one successive generation. These patterns of gene expression are governed by the cellular material — the epigenome — that sits on top of the genome, just outside it (hence the prefix epi-, which means above). It is these epigenetic “marks” that tell your genes to switch on or off, to speak loudly or whisper. It is through epigenetic marks that environmental factors like diet, stress and prenatal nutrition can make an imprint on genes that is passed from one generation to the next.
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1952313,00.html#ixzz1VeKwJ9M0

Research focusses on medical benefits, but it would take a blinkered mind not look at the psychological and social factors this research also highlights, a correlation demanding a closer look at initial imprints –the environment in the womb – at birth – and in the early home, including the emotional state of mothers. Improving initial environments for the new-born would reconcile reason with intuition and gradually repair dysfunctions, though healing of any kind and at every stage in life needs re-framing – the healing attitude, glance, voice, and the aesthetics of our surroundings.

The opportunity to tell one’s story can highlight patterns in one’s family. A story lives by its interpretation, which brings its own counsel. And there are creative methods that uncover dynamics based on fears, some stemming from pre-verbal experiences. Each time a person becomes emotionally and cognitively aware of a habitual relationship pattern, a kind of ‘aha’ moment happens that shifts perception, and with it behaviour, which in turn changes future experiences. Better still, if one person in a family (or group) becomes aware of a previously unconscious habit and behaves differently, subtle changes take place that lighten the structure of the whole group. Spooky, you might think. Not so. Meaning changes, a node dissolves, a pattern is released.

Within nature’s unconscious force everything is symbiotically connected to everything else, and it leaves a record of imprints, as in layers of rock, as in the slice of a tree trunk whose rings reveal the weather of many seasons, as in our body tissue. Many people are hesitant to admit their intuitive knowing of another record, one that mirrors the physical – a psychic record – structured outside space and time, and held by meaning.

Not even quantum mechanics has changed our culture’s material attitude. It seems only direct experience will convince the rational mind that we are psychological beings who will continue to energise what has meaning for us. Stories, dreams and myths inform every human ideal, until it requires adjustment, at which point tradition is often fiercely defended.  Science, too, needs to adjust its ideal, and stop functioning as a defence against the collective shadow. We must uphold our relationship with nature and individually face its dark side, listen to how it speaks of the fear we suppress, which usually finds a violent outlet.

As children and teens we are defined by others, first parents, then groups we belong to. Many people are content to belong and thrive. But many more are on the move and live several lives in one lifetime. We grow psychologically faster than our parents. Those who develop the ego-strength to define themselves individually and commit to a purpose are challenged towards self-knowledge, which calls for differentiation, focus, self-analysis, tolerating inner conflict, empathy, humility, discipline … and lots of humour …   It is a process towards psychological integration, and, amidst all the chaos of transition today, a way towards the realization that we and the universe are one, not only one body, but one unified consciousness.

These are my ramblings, inspired by resonating minds. Maybe the funders of molecular biology will widen their perspective and read our genome in a more dynamic way.  As ever, nature is the book, though much depends on the interpretations of its text. I suspect the larger part of any living system needs to be unconscious in order to self-organise … for all of humanity to become conscious would require a collective self that was capable of standing outside of itself, integrated enough to overcome its hubris.

And it does not make one dot of difference if we believe consciousness to be a by-product of the brain, or the brain to be a by-product of consciousness, what matters is that they function together.

*    *    *    *

If you’re interested in the scientific theories that go beyond the selfish gene you might want to explore epigenetics. Here are a few links:

Evolution in Four Dimensions by Eva Jablonka and Marion Lamb is a lucid book that restores subtlety to evolutionary theory, says Steven Rose

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2005/jul/23/featuresreviews.guardianreview8

Evolutionary theories are changing …

http://videolectures.net/bzid08_jablonka_onrvo/

And the article from which I quoted …

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1952313,00.html

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