… waiting – waiting – waiting …

Why so impatient dear? I tell myself.

Apologies – can’t trace the brilliant artist

Heck, it seems instant communication has increased our endless tasks, many of which require coordination. Like in waiting for Godot, there are days when nothing moves, nothing happens … and there’s nothing to be done … Instead of waiting for a breakthrough, why not get on with your creative projects, I tell myself.

I so wish. I wish I could stop fretting about a return-call regarding my leaking boiler, about finding a solution for a technical publishing question, someone confirming a date for topping the high hedge, or locating a magician to transfer old Claris Work files to Word. What frequently ghosts my mind is finding ‘the’ right question that cuts to the core of a problem, so that Google doesn’t  add to my confusion.

A lottery win would be welcome – I could employ a secretary. Decluttering, too, is a great idea, but complex. None of several local camera clubs want a vintage darkroom equipment with an excellent enlarger, for free … There’s A, B, C and D, but unless A is done I can’t do the rest. Or unless C is done I can’t do A and B and D. Back to waiting.

Then there is last night’s dream. What to make of a snowstorm just when I start out for an appointment, followed by a surfing car drive among steep sandy hills – is it dunes in a desert, or an industrial sandpit? And who are the aliens with kind teddy-bear-eyes running a bar in this desolate place, offering me lemonade, which I loathe. Give me coffee, anytime. What are they and what am I doing there? This puzzle must wait for another dream.

Drawing by Natasha Tonkin   …         – a scene from my garden –

Normally, during such waiting times, I escape frustration by dipping into media articles to lift my boredom … but it seems the riveting tragic/comic Brexit drama has also come to a standstill.

So like Vladimir and Estragon in Samuel Beckett’s absurd play, I endure these ‘what’s-the-point-moments’ while waiting for things to happen, like they’re waiting for signs to affirm their existence.

*    *    *

Ah, wait, wow, all of a sudden birds descend on my garden, among them my Robin friend, evoking an honest smile as it peers at me through the window beyond my laptop. Within the hour two tasks on my to-do  list are miraculously solved.


Filed under Blog

16 responses to “… waiting – waiting – waiting …

  1. A robin bests a dream, and all things Brexit ~ George

    Liked by 3 people

  2. So, so, familiar lines of frustration. Thanks for the reminder that sometimes, we just need to stop, and look around. Lovely Robin.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. i always considered a visit from a robin as a visit from my Mum… still do…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. elainemansfield

    I know those threshold times when all feels stuck. It’s part of this darkening time of year for me, but I adopted an 8 week old rescue pup to join me and my 10-year-old dog. She’s moving in on Sunday, so things are gonna move–one way or other. So now I’m stuck on the name.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your visit, Elaine. You invited light into the dark phase. Just thinking of a pub makes me smile. I had a beautiful cat, Jetty, for 16 years. I could then rely on the wonderful neighbour who was able to look after her when I had to travel. A name for your new friend will come.
      Thinking back, other cats we had were called Hannibal, Ibsen, Leila, Topaz, Amber – these names just arrived.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I know how you feel, Ashen, waiting for something good to happen. Patience is a virtue that I am still learning, and like you, that lotto win is already spent!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thankfully we have dreams to sustain us, and the occasional wisdom, if remembered. There’s a Sufi story about a magic ring King Solomon had his servants searching for. Eventually a ring arrived. It said something like … “Despite everything, this too will pass.” Truth that fits every situation 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello Ashen
    After reading your post (which is always a priority for me) I thought I may tell you of a recent television presentation concerning the life of ABBA.
    You may be familiar with the “Blonde Girl” – I think known as Anna.
    Well she apparently removed herself from all things to do with her normal career and began to resolutely walk each day.
    This, for her at least, allowed thought time to appreciate all of the great things she had achieved and gradually assisted in resurrecting a brilliant career.
    What was interesting in all of this was her take on nature encountered during her walks.
    Anna believes that nature is a healing gift given to us for free.
    Having never actually considered this myself, I know my own encounters with nature will take on even greater significance from now.
    Thanks again for your wonderful posts – you always lift my mind.
    You may like to pop onto Instagram and see that art seems to have been keeping me quite occupied to date.
    I’m not sure if you are on Instagram but will re-check.
    Cheers Ashen – keep well.B

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks B. Totally agree, nature heals us. I’ve my garden, and the care it requires keeps me fit and in constant admiration of nature.
      I used to be fearless, but getting older, I’m hesitant of walking alone, in woods for example. A friend has recently nudged me with the same suggestion. Walking with him is a race 🙂 though he may reduce his speed next time we meet.
      I’m not on Instagram. My son, Yeshen Venema uses the site. I found yours just now and am impressed by your painting and sketches, had now idea you were such a productive artist.
      Will look into it.


  7. Wow! Ashen, I thought my dreams were wild but yours sound like technicolour rollercoaster creations! I’m glad your to-do list got sorted. Claris works eh?! A long time since I heard that name and I wonder did you manage to move it over? I have old computers, disks stacked in the in the loft and wondering what to do with them all, what is on all the disks. As for Brexit … I’m studiously avoiding TV, news today! Like everyone else well and truly beyond fed-up!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Claris Work floppy disks contains my interesting essays and a dissertation from a film degree I did a s a mature student mid 1990’s Only had a simple Mac then without internet access. Still seeking a solution. I don’t watch TV but follow international news in various online papers, which seems like witnessing the global upheavals from an intergalactic spacecraft.

      Liked by 1 person

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