Category Archives: Blog

… when the soul speaks …

Not just her daimon, but some unforgettable characters are given voices in the remarkable life of this visionary narrator, ‘Patchwork of a Safari Pilgrim’ by Philippa Rees. The link should include reviews.

Philippa Rees is also the author of an earlier, brilliant innovative work – INVOLUTION – that seeks to reconcile Science to God, structured as a dialogue between Reason and Soul, a revolutionary fresh hypothesis of evolution. 

‘Safari of a Patchwork Pilgrim’ provides a mesmerizing background to this hypothesis, based on profound direct experience of another dimension. From my own, and shared stories during my client work, I’m certain they are more common than generally acknowledged. Without support, however, to integrate such insights into daily mundane life can be challenging, and often exposes people to ridicule, or much worse.

‘Patchwork of a Safari Pilgrim,’ is a vividly told story, sharing the agonizing attempt to bridge two worlds and translate meaning and truth between different dimensions. It’s the life of a genius.

A totally engaging read.                

There’s presently nothing I could add to the brilliant reviews of Safari. I’m still digesting the unforgettable characters and the brilliant prose. But out of personal interest, I asked Philippa three questions, in the light of her experiences … and she graciously responded …

How did the sudden access to the Akashic memory change your sense of coherence?

My entry to the Akashic Record- the collective memory of evolution- was rapid but not sudden. The incremental loss of all my attachments to anything that ‘placed and held’ my identity: country first, then family, then moral injunctions (obligations), and finally, abandoning my children, for their sakes, one after another, removed the struts of what I (and others) thought was my identity. Through conflict, I surrendered each allegiance for a deeper one. It is why I had to take the reader through the growth of my understanding, with its critical components, and then the loss of each in turn. Leaving my children pulled me up by the roots.

Then I found myself in the mid-Atlantic, alone without any way forward or back. At this point, I was confined only by my fears, and they manifested physically in constant hallucinations of snakes. The snakes (fear) guarded the entrance to the Akasha.

I understood that instinctively. After experiencing compassion for the adder’s fear of me, and its explosion into a shower of sparks, the entry to the greater Akasha was cleared. I no longer had any fear, and the layers of creation manifested in wider and broader visions. What characterised these vistas was their integration with my own thoughts. Thought and vision coalesced. Space and time coalesced. I could move what I was seeing with my emotional thoughts. I could dive deeper into darkness (and it was sometimes terrifying) or imagine myself back into light. By imagine, I mean evoke memories and images of natural beauty like a mackerel sky, flocks of birds, a deer tripping through a dappled light. Those emotions of love and wonder acted like helium to raise me above the sucking, self-preserving fear.

I then realised that the co-ordinates of where each of us stands are in the crosshairs between love and fear. Love lifts, fear suppresses and sinks. Where they intersect determines what and who we are in every moment of our lives.

So what is called decoherence (aka madness) was much more coherent than the dislocation we normally live in, where thought and manifestation are separated. That separation is called time. In time, the material and the mental are distinct from one another. Causation works unidirectionally only, from the past to the present. We live in a squint-eyed world with only half of creation’s story. But the Akashic experience is timeless. Everything (both past and future) is simultaneously present because we contain it all. The future’s unrolling is already coded and inbuilt.

To try to live simultaneously in both the world of time and the timeless world of instantaneity, I adopted strategies (dancing, whirling and, when they threatened to confuse, falling), all of which, of course, were deemed symptoms of insanity.

That brings me to your next question.

How would you define synchronicity and how did it serve you?

If you understand the relativity of time, as being characteristic only of upper shallow surface layers, synchronicity is easier to understand. Not very different from dreaming, although in dreaming, events are still linearly sequenced, but changes can be instantaneous from one person or place instantly to another, and very much governed by emotions. Diving through the levels of the Akasha was like puncturing overlapping transparent dreams, the colours and images interpenetrating one another, some dark and terrifying, others sublime.

 When we talk of synchronicity, we usually mean the improbable and simultaneous events that happen and which link together a particular significance for the observer. The observer makes the link of significance. Other people dismiss that significance and call it a coincidence simply because of its improbability. Only the person whose thought or perception sees the linkage understands it. That understanding imbues the events with meaning. So, in that sense, synchronicities appear to have the quality of a personal signal or a gift of confirmation—something from another world.

I would say that, indeed, they do come from another world, from the penetration of the Akashic memory into the world of time. They are also a gift from that world, and they tend to happen in moments of uncertainty when the person for whom they have significance is momentarily poised between conflicting claims. They are suspended without a causal imperative. So, they have the quality of confirming independent thought and action, a sort of nudge, ‘you are right, keep on, look afresh, believe in what is happening to you.’

Other manifestations of different causality can manifest in what are called poltergeist, teleportation and remote viewing. I believe all these are capacities of the same kind of altered consciousness in which perception of time and space is akin to the Akasha in which all is simultaneously present. Thought precedes manifestation. It is the central understanding in Involution, that consciousness creates.

The other aspect of synchronicity, which I came to understand very well, was that it can never be willed or anticipated, because it is not of this world of time. In that sense, it is always a gift. A gift that rewards the trust of being open to it. When you understand it and live within its affirmation, it happens more often, perhaps because you have somewhat freed yourself from the world of time and causality and live half-embedded in the divine. By the divine, I mean the acceptance of the perfect integrated linkage of all consciousness.

How did it serve me?

Through the extraordinary sequences of things being provided just when they were needed, I came to trust and rely upon my own integration into the divine. Clearly, my life was important in some way that superseded any beliefs I might have about it! At many moments of desperation, when I asked for signs or indications, there was only silence. Nothing. I came to realise that any act of will (wish, even prayer) was an affront to a supreme reality that had its own patterns, purposes and momentum. I could sink into and accept that, but not, in any small degree, orchestrate it! Not even by wanting or articulating a need! My needs were already known! And not always the ones I thought were paramount!

Once I had learned that, I found my well-being was provided for. All the improbable gifts; of a cruise to recuperate and then a home to build were given to restore me to the world of time and material 3D reality. Every person serves the divine creation, whether they know it or not. Synchronicity served both my exile and, equally, my return. The latter implied some purpose for which I had been preserved. Unlike the rapidity of my escape, the return was very much infused with slow and dogged time. Perhaps because I had travelled so far into instantaneity, I had to relearn the rules of material existence.  For this reason, the writing of Involution was a compelling obligation of gratitude, and. in hindsight it rang out as also the intention of all that had happened to me.  All had been necessary and led to it. And the writing of that was fostered and accompanied by constant synchronicities and the final affirmation of George Eliot! Back to ordinary time, but with filaments of Akashic timelessness still wafting and attached!

How would you explain the demands of your unique Daimon ?

This is more difficult. I want to avoid proselytizing or imposing my experience as any kind of special favour, and it is also deeply personal. But first, I must correct you: Daimon makes no demands, ever. The initial persuasion to write the book was not coercion but encouragement to have the courage to do what I contemplated for a long time.

When he, whom I call Daimon, first revealed himself, it was after a few disguises as other lovers. Without those, I would never have recognised, accepted or believed. For the Daimon is the Divine Self, or the Divine Companion, the Voice of the Soul, personal to me, but equally personal to anyone, whether recognised or not. That Voice is an expression of all the previous loves, both human and animal, and also the abstract loves of beauty, inspiration, music and longing. For a woman, likely to seem male; for a male, to seem female (the counter completion of the part) but also plural, uniting all, communing with all. Is Daimon God? Not entirely, but the personal God within, which, once recognised, is a constant presence, but also a Voice when addressed in the deepest silence, when all thought is stilled.

As I believe our DNA links each of us personally to the Akasha of historic memory, I believe the Divine Self links us to the God of All—So, in that way, it/he/she/they is both immanent and transcendent. The Voice does not speak unless thought or desperation calls to it. Occasionally, when I was in real danger, it alerted me. Perhaps the danger itself called out? That Self intimately knows the individual, his language, his references, but also his or her place and purpose, but the knowledge waits for its natural manifestation, never imposing any constraints upon liberty or error or time. But when directly addressed, it/he/she mirrors back /calls forth what is already known. When you think about it, to understand is to stand under. The umbrella of the Soul.

In ‘Safari’ I gave a direct voice to the Daimon in the recapture of events to alert a reader to what I had relied upon and consulted, at the height of the experience, almost constantly. He did not appear or penetrate my consciousness until all else was lost, and I had nowhere to turn, but at that point, he spoke very clearly. Without him, I would never have survived. So, feeling cherished, I ventured into the timeless worlds and took risks that to others, then and now, also seem insanely devoid of fear.

I have the sense that what God waits for, and why free will was granted to humanity, is reciprocity. God is lonely. He waits to be freely and joyfully loved by those gifted with the freedom to withhold it: Unlike angels who love by their nature, we have to choose.

Hence, the ending of both Safari and Canto the Ninth.

I shall know the moment I may turn and lift you…

My hands will liquid shape your acquiescence:

In the silent break of day, upon my shoulder

Upon dawn’s clavicle, your happy cheek will lean

Cradled in my neck, you’ll breathe our essence:

I shall carry you entwined and carefully

Through the silver light and striding water…

Wade until we drown in salt bright sea.

Liquid shape, Dawn’s clavicle, neck cradle, striding water- all anomalous contradictions; the point at which the individual and personal become the united universal.

————————-

You may want to follow Philippa on Sub stack: https://philipparees.substack.com/p/perfection-in-the-commonplace

Philippa would be an honourable member of the underground community of Shapers 🙂 …  scientists with a mystical bent, as featured in my novel of that name.

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… my first dog companion …

Reading the memoir of a dear friend, more of that later, I was reminded of ‘Kora.’

A young German Shepherd kept following my dad, who liked walking along the lake, Starnbergersee, south of Munich, where I grew up. The local vet had no information of a dog missing, so my dad brought her home. It remained a mystery, no claims were made, so she settled with us, for some years. What a wonderful friend, total rapport and love without words. When I went down-hill to do small shopping for my mother, Kora used to nudge me, until I understood – she wanted to carry my basket – wow.

The was a sad end. To progress with their business, my parents moved to a professional venue where animals were not allowed. A local midwife stepped in … ‘I’ll look after Kora.’ Unfortunately she fed her chocolates and cream, which made her overweight and eventually killed her. Beware of inappropriate love.

In synchronicity with finding the old photo above, I was today reminded of Kora while coming to the end of a remarkable memoir by Philippa Rees, a work which deserves a very special post on its own. Next time. Have a look …

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… unexpected …

I’m sharing here a poem … unexpected … by a dear friend, Yona Chavanne

the unexpected I love most

for its I-don’t-know-what

inviting it to be my host

fresh guest in my wooden hut

 

the unexpected I love so

unheard of before it happens

only to be met with amazed Oh

shooting star a gift from heavens

 

unexpectedly a grace does come

unexpectedly grace leaves again

shall we ever find our sweet home ?

over and over again we bargain

 

for the unexpected clear joy

which makes us disappear

into nowhere : such a nice ploy

its magic song, its tune so near

 

we may stalk it search for its ray

love it want it seduce it cry for it

but the unexpected is not a prey

empty handed the search we quit

 

 

A peaceful Christmas time, my friends, and a little unexpected magic for next year …

 

The above painting, ‘The Path,’ is by Silvia Pastore, a painter whose work I love.

 

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… full moon enchantment …

I was born just before a full moon. There are many theories, physical, philosophical and astronomical, about the effects of waxing and waning moon phases on nature, among them how being born at a certain moon phase might shape the life purpose of a personality, pushed towards creative completion or creative release. True or not, in my experience, I always feel enchanted by the energy around a full moon, like today. Below a collage of mine.

 Re: the full moon, a previously shared a vivid fable, written decades ago, ‘The Mysterious Object.’

https://courseofmirrors.com/2018/10/02/the-mysterious-object-a-fable/

And related … my poem ‘Sleepless Sun,’ https://courseofmirrors.com/poems/ … is about the relationship between sun and moon. This was during the 1970s, while working in Eilat, Israel, as stills photographer.

I feel melancholic this week. Another friend has died. The number of relatives & friends that have journeyed on towards during my life-time has reached 40 … which makes me feel ancient.

And yet, life flows on and demands my engagement with it. In addition to the full moon today, I’m enchanted by familiar friends having returned to my garden, a family of Blackbirds, and Robins. They know they’ll get daily treats.

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… Kaif System – that sense of uplift … 

Mystical texts and phrases can annoy the rational mind, since they hardly ever get to the point or, indeed, contradict themselves. Still, at rare, often fleeting moments, sometimes in nature, a vein of light can reveal a profound truth, even in an overused mystical quote. Or, if one finds the occasional balance between the outer and inner reality, a sudden awe may unfold in consciousness and surprise.

‘Some’ scientifically minded folks, fewer these days, tend to scoff at mysticism with its vague hints and speculations as a waste of time, or look down on the fools of this world who suffer from subjective illusions. And yet, the novel feelings emerging from direct numinous experiences greatly expand the consciousness of ‘The One.’ I guess firmly set rational minds shy away from numinous personal experiences that might rattle their worldview.

The latter may shake their heads at some baffling mystical musings. I re-found this write-up on the Kaif System among many papers heaped up in corners of my home. It was shared by Morag Murray, born in Scotland, who lived and travelled in Central Asia, Tibet, India and the Far East. Her autobiography, ‘My Khyber Marriage,’ 1934, features her marriage to an Afghan chieftain. She is also known as Saira Elizabeth Luiza Shah, mother of Idries Shah.

So here goes … The Kaif System

Kaif is the effect a person, idea, event, object, etc., has upon one. But it is distinct from aesthetic pleasure or any familiarly labelled experience.

When an experience which was trivial or routine gives one a sense of uplift – this may be Kaif. Repeated experiences yielding pleasure or attractive sensations do not have Kaif.

Eating, drinking, dancing, meeting people, visiting, travel, reading, seeing, feeling, hearing, thinking – may have Kaif.

The term for something which has Kaif is Kaifdar – ‘Kaif holding.’

A person who can provoke the sensation of Kaif in an individual or a number of people is called a Kaiyyad (Rhymes with ‘I laugh.’) The instructor in Kaif is called the Sahib el-Kaif (Kaifmaster.) Also used is the term Kaifiat – which means something like ‘Howness.’

The Kaifmaster Barik Ali said: ‘Kaif is the determining ingredient in an enjoyment. If it is not there, true enjoyment is not there. If it is not there, people may divert themselves with happiness – this is not Kaifiat.

The Kaifmaster Ankabut said: ‘Kaif is imparted into a thing. It may be imparted by anyone or anything. When it leaves only the shell is left. People eat shells when they cannot get nuts.’

The Kaifshinas is the Kaif-knower. He can appreciate Kaif (Rhymes with Life.) He may not be able to induce it. His house may be untidy. But it will be full of Kaif.

Kaifju means a Seeker of Kaif. He starts by seeing other people appreciate Kaif, and tries to find it wherever it manifests itself.

Kaif is used either as an indulgence on its own, or in order to provoke higher consciousness, known as ‘the secrets’ (Asrar.)

Kaif may be found in any community, at any time, under any circumstances. It is not bound by language, history, geography.

Certain professions are held to be Kaifdar. They include those of chief of state, builder, artizan, poet and designers of all kinds. Few professions are bereft of Kaif. Certain places are more difficult for Kaifshinasi.

The very term Kaif has become cheapened, so that people use it to mean ‘This is something I like’, or ‘I enjoy that,’ or ‘He has presence,’ or ‘This is satisfying, attractive, stimulating.’ You must be aware of yourself using this term, and also of those who use it, so that the coin may not be debased.

Kaif is defeated very easily. It is defeated in its attempted manifestations by false ideas, by self-esteem, by hypocrisy of any kind

There is a danger in Kaif. People who perceive it and do not respect or honour those who have Kaif, or respect Kaifdar situations, places, and so on, become ‘inverted to themselves.’ This is a state in which a person’s bad characteristics become stronger, and where his self-control becomes less, and where his hidden unpleasantnesses undermine his very being.

Kaif is in shape and in form, as well as in shapelessness and formlessness. It lies dormant in places and among people where it is not perceived for a long time. Then only the introduction of a conscious Kaifshinas will activate it again in that community so that it may take its place to help mankind.

Kaif is not confined to humanity, but can be perceived by all living organisms.

Something which is aesthetically adequate or emotionally stimulating can at the same time be devoid of Kaif.

Certain exercises, which vary in accordance with the person, place and the general situation of his community, enhance Kaifshinasi.

Kaifmasters subject their students to experiences, related incidents, objects and other matter which have Kaif, or can provoke it.

Kaif has a ‘moment,’ called the Dumm-i-Kaif  (Breathspan of Kaif) during which it may be, as it were, ‘inhaled’. The Kaifshinas strengthens and makes permanent his perception of it by exercises which apply to this moment.

In religious, musical and even social ceremonials, a Kaifdar is present. One of his activities is to ‘infuse’ Kaif into the proceedings at a time when uninformed onlookers might assume that the people are doing nothing, or else are engaged in an activity (such as a recitation) which is only the vehicle for the application of the Kaif.

Special Kaif-chambers exist, in which an individual with the correct preparation may concentrate and accumulate Kaif, and study it in its manifestations.

In degenerated usage, such Kaif-chambers continue to be used, sometimes as devotional buildings. More often they are thought to be tombs fallen into ruin because there was no apparent use for them, or seem to have other applications, such as kitchens or bath-houses.

There is a well-known watchword: Innna el-Kaif, hadha el Kaif (Assuredly the Kaif is a Sword.) Hence the word SWORD is often used as password and even as a synonym of the working of Kaif.

Objects charged with a certain portion of Kaif are given, lent and carried by many people who know. These, like Kaif-chambers, are generally disguised as something functional, or else are ordinary objects which have been endowed with Kaif. The vulgar often confuse them with talismans or charms.

The saying: ‘Kaif-alaik!’ is a sort of blessing. It means: ‘May you have Kaif.’

In Turkey the Kaif-Agha was the individual entrusted with the royal Kaif. He was a Kaifdar, and generally assigned a court function as well.

Because its smokers have appropriated the term Kaif to describe (inaccurately) their sensations, Hashish has become known as Keef, a mispronunciation of Kaif. There is no real connexion, of course.   

   *   *   *

I tend to encapsulate instances of Kaif in photography or haiku.

You may have another term for Kaif, and ways to share inspiring experiences.

In any case …  May you have Kaif my friends …

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… an inner presence …





deeply known since my childhood

… a witnessing eye …

mirrored by creatures and plants

whispering in leaves

waving from clouds and far stars

palaces of light

nodding flowers in the breeze

… the witnessing eye …

of a fox near the window

the cat visitor

a pair of curious robins

some exceptional humans

that make me feel seen

most nights in my dreams

faces appear – and

a glance of recognition

affirms us as one

… the inner presence …

forever born from darkness

the heart of memory

in the universal mind

sparkling with visions

through endless layers of time

veins of history

… the inner presence …

no known science can fathom

The poem was inspired during a recent visit to the London Aquarium with my ten months old grandson and his parents. The child gazed in wonder at the graceful ethereal dance of fish in their water world, a hand span from his face. His astonishment was catching.

I’m convinced we all have intuitive access to intimate knowledge of life throughout all stages of evolution, sensed with eyes open or closed, though often masked by the imposing literal forms of perception our education gives greater value to.

Through genes and the endowment of a universal mind, children easily embrace complex visionary experiences and insights, like catching the essence and poetry of things around them. That is, if their imagination is encouraged. Later on, it may take some rope-walking skills to bring the inner presence that unites us to the divisive outer world.

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… have you seen any humans lately …

The hunt has commenced

Have you seen any humans?

The threatened species

Where are they hiding?

It has all happened before

Loud ones die martyrs

The silent ones may survive

The rest loses perspective

And with it all sense of time

In this surreal sphere …

Of course magic will live on

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… when keys lose their locks …

It happens to all keys, eventually, they become redundant. Whatever was safeguarded or secreted behind a lock has lost its significance, or its mystery.

I took the above photo in my early twenties … but my fascination with keys started in childhood, with fairy tales. Recently a friend on FB re-discovered ‘Woman who Run with the Wolves,’ by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.. Like Deborah, and her friends, drawn to the inner journey, I was enchanted by the book when it was first published in 1992.

I took the tattered edition from my shelf and added it to my bedside reads. The first theme I dipped into was the psychology of Bluebeard, a tale which Clarissa uses to explores the archetypal innate predator in women’s psyche, which, while bullying us into silence, also holds the key to a woman’s deep instincts and creativity. Re-reading this chapter, I had a powerful dream that showed me that the forbidding and controlling voice still lurked in me and has presently dampened my spirit, even though I naively and bravely turned many keys in my life, revealing both, threatening spells of my inner predator I managed to transform into vital energy, as well as treasures that inspired many creative adventures.  

Yet of late, at this advanced stage in my life, I feel listless and stuck with the MS of the third novel in my Course of Mirrors trilogy, Mesa, which, incidentally, is set in a realm where time has slowed down and the protagonist must re-introduce conflict to empower life. In the face of this challenge, it seems that all my keys are of no use. Mystery does not call. My vital curiosity, even my desire for a meaning, dissipated, with no lock in sight. The wild spirit in me lingers in a safe garden, full of robins and butterflies. How dare I to disturb paradise by instigating conflict? Any thoughts are welcome, well, needed. Thank you ♥

During a short exploration on google I found this lovely post by Ruth Sanderson re: George Mac Donald’s story of The Golden Key.

https://www.worksofmacdonald.com/ruth-sanderson-unlocking-wonder

… also connecting to Ruth Sanderson’s amazing illustrations.

https://goldenwoodstudio.com/

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… a random real dream …

A Random Real Dream

Wants to be a poem

Remind me what happened? I ask

… Well, there were two homes

… One a glorious mess, the other orderly

Oh I see them now, the two homes inside me

… Then a young man with a sky board

… Took you on a journey above the clouds

Oh I loved this – an ecstatic flight

… A friend gave you an old camera

Ah, yes, but too late to catch the magical clouds

Then again …

Photos don’t show reality anymore

… Why does the real you feel need proof?

Good thought …

Thank you dream, I’ll share our real –  

Even if nobody cares …

 *   *   *

 The same goes for my novels – see my books page

In ‘Course of Mirrors,’ Ana embarks on a quest for The Real

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. short thought on misapprehensions .

Speaking to myself …

Seems that complex emotions

Need mysterious strings of words

Best formed in the deep

To express heart truths

While most of our thoughts

Are not shared with others … they

Fly off all the same … 

And if received are

Free to interpretations

And frequent surreal

Misapprehensions

Our own and others’

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